A Personal Hiatus

Today during a very interesting gchat with boyfriend or Mr. Man as I sometimes refer to him, I realized that often I've set goals for myself and haven't followed through with them. Boyfriend is very good at setting goals and checking back on his goals...so...he suggested that I take a personal hiatus once a month to set goals, short and long term, follow up on goals from the previous month, and do major things related to personal finance. Now you see why I love him so much, he's a genius. I set goals during August, and much to my chagrin, I didn't follow up on them. So perhaps this would be a great monthly exercise for me and it would help me to stay on the grind continually.

On a monthly basis, I will now have a personal hiatus (with boyfriend, but separately). This way I can set, follow up, and maintain my goals. As well as, know his goals and we can both help one another as far as accountability is concerned. I'm so excited! I wonder when we'll start? Perhaps January...isn't that the time EVERYONE starts new goals and projects? (That was a rhetorical question.)

Maybe I can label them Personal Hiatus...doesn't that sound intriguing?! Like hmm, how classy, what's she up to?! Yep, the Personal Hiatus it is...a star is born. And more importantly, a great habit.

Rich is Relative

Every person has their own personal hierarchy, a ranking system that they use to determine what's most important to them. Being rich may not necessarily be having a lot of money in the bank, for some it could be driving a Mercedes, or having a closet full of Jimmy Choos. Rich is totally relative.

You could go through life trying desperately to eliminate debt (and by all means you should) but in the meantime, stop and smell the roses. Take time to enjoy these moments because no amount of money can buy them back. They're priceless.

I took some time and thought about what my personal hierarchy entails...in no particular order (I'll attempt that later) here they are:

• I want to wear nice clothes to work and on the weekends, after all this is correlated to how often promotions occur
• I want to live in an area that's a mix of city and suburban life
• I want a moderately nice vehicle (dependable & classy)
• I want to retire at a normal age (55-60) and have the flexibility to do what I want
• I want to travel 2-3 times per year while working, more upon retirement
• I want to go to graduate school, not sure for what just yet and only if it increases my earning potential or is something I'm passionate about
• I want to own my own home one day in the next 5 years
• I want kids one day

And in order to get there...

• I'm willing to live with a roommate in order to save money
• I'm willing to stay in the house on a Saturday night reading a book instead of partying
• I'm willing to give up satellite radio in my car unless I start driving to work everyday
• I'm willing to be on a staff of employees, family life is more important to me
• I'm willing to cook versus eating out. Occasionally eating out is nice
• I'm willing to start my own business if it's something I'm passionate about
• I'm willing to have just one pet now (Dior) he's expensive enough
• I'm willing to have a moderately sized wedding that's fancy-ish or a destination wedding

With all of that said...to me, I am rich right now. I buy the clothes that I want and I pay somewhat good money for them, not always, but often. I drive a car that's nice & reliable. My apartment makes me feel safe and it has a garage. I put 10% of my salary into my retirement, I belong to an investment group, and I save on a regular basis. So in my eyes, I am rich. I have what I want out of life at this very moment in time. My hierarchy will of course change as the years come & go, but for now...I'm A-OK with where I am, and I'm also very proud.

I encourage you to decide what things are most important to you in life and strive to accomplish those things, whatever they may be realizing that at times these goals may shift & change.

One more note before I end this thing...boyfriend often gives me a hard time about how much I pay for my clothes as have some of my other guy friends. Keep in mind, that according to my personal hierarchy, that's something that's important to me, for which I'm willing to sacrifice. With that said, I nicely pointed out that I don't go out to the club every weekend, to tailgate during football season, to a fast food spot everyday, or to purchase Xbox minutes online. Those are all things that may be in someone else's hierarchy, but they're not in mine. So with that said, there really is no difference between myself and anyone else (any cool kid that is, not some frugal fart). I buy what I like...if I see something that I want and it's unreasonably priced, I'll wait until I have a coupon or it's on sale. But I'm gonna get it! I also tend to wear most of my clothes to work as well as out on the weekends. They double, so that means I get more wear out of them. I don't buy a bunch of jeans (which I can't wear to work, not even on Fridays), I buy shoes and shirts and skirts that can be worn to work, church or play.

One more thought...for those of us that have personal appearance matters somewhere in our personal hierarchies. When I pay more for something, I treat it better. I'm not endorsing or suggesting that we all go expensive possession crazy but I am saying that it's okay to buy nice things for yourself, especially if you're going to use them often. Sometimes expensive purchases can be justified on a cost per use basis. Here's an example that I borrowed from You're So Money but can also see illustrated in my personal experience. Boyfriend has about 5-6 pairs of sunglasses, all of which he paid no more than $20 for...I have one pair of designer shades (and I'm not buying anymore). However, when he breaks a pair or loses a pair, he's like no biggie...they were only $15, but then he goes out and buys another pair of $15. And this happens over & over. Now, let's examine my side...I've had my one pair of Diors for 3 years now, and they still look brand new. Plus I KNOW they have true UV protection. Therefore, I don't feel bad about wearing them while he's piddling away between $10-20 on random shades, my pair is still kicking and fabulously fly I might add. You only have one set of eyes and it's important to truly protect them (who wants crow's feet around their eyes?!). Lots of people have said that they'd break their sunglasses and this is most likely true for some of us. It all depends on your hierarchy. But this example can be applied to whatever it is, that IS important to you.

So...
Be rich
Be fabulous
Be young

After all...it's all relative, right?

Fabulous Thoughts

Last night at my investment group meeting, we discussed the importance of having one's financial life together & staying in the mindset. Meaning it's important to continuously seek new information on retirement, investments, savings, etc. no matter how weary you may get. Persistance is the key...if being disciplined enough to be rich were easy, everyone would be rich, right? Exactly! And that's why everyone isn't rich. Everyone doesn't want to take the time to write out goals and stick to them, budget and stick to it, invest regularly, or stay in the mindset of growing rich.

So from now on...my mindset is "Think and Grow Rich." Just like the book, which I'm currently reading. It's all about changing the way you think about things in your life and how if you consistently have money on your mind, you're bound to see and create opportunities that may pass others by.

Then I get on CNN and find the above referenced article about saving at a young age which inspired me even more. So I definitely feel like I'm on the right track, it's just about staying focused in order to continue my quest towards financial fabulousity.

Here are some thoughts that I read in my book, which I intend to write on index cards to stay focused:

• Wishing will not bring riches. But desiring riches with a state of mind that becomes an obsession, then planning definite ways and means to acquire riches, and backing those plans with persistance with does not recognize failure, will bring riches.
• ...there is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.
• No one is ready for a thing, until he believes he can acquire it.

And finally, I'll end with Six Ways to Turn Desire into Gold from Think and Grow Rich:

1. First, fix it in your mind the exact amount of money you desire. It is not sufficient merely to say "I want plenty of money." Be definite as to the amount.
2. Second, determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire. (There is no such reality as "something for nothing.")
3. Third, establish a definite date when you intend to possess the money you desire.
4. Fourth, create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action.
5. Fifth, write out a clear, concise statement of the amount of money you intend to acquire, name the time limit for its acquisition, state what you intend to give in return for the money, and describe clearly the plan through which you intend to accumulate it.
6. Sixth, read your written statement aloud, twice daily, once just before retiring at night, and once after arising in the morning. As you read -- see and feel and believe yourself already in possession of the money.

Boyfriend's Birthday!!!

Was ABSOLUTELY fabulous! I don't think the night could have gone any better. My outfit was fabulous as well I must say, thanks to my fashion team (wink, wink). Although I had to drive 50 miles to get the shoes, they were definitely worth it and accomplished the look I was going for. I loved it, he loved it, the girls loved it...that's all that matters. It was a great night and I didn't have to spend an outlandish amount of money on my outfit, although I did look like a million bucks (hehe). My outfit came in under $200 and considering that the dresses I was looking at before were, err...$178 without tax or shoes, I feel proud. Maybe I should post my outfit...I mean, I was proud kids, real proud. LOL. Okay...that's enough about that. My outfit was under budget, so that's the point.

Now back to the grind, or death as I like to call it, the budget! What's a reasonable amount to spend on food per week. For single people eating out is almost the same, if you eat fast food & carryout. I'm not very good at planning meals for myself. My pantry is full of food that I buy because I call myself planning & then don't eat. So I need to learn how to plan for the week & stick to it. Boyfriend suggested only buying one week at a time that way I don't get too bored, but even that's hard for me. So I'll be going to the grocery store today, hoping I can get this right. What's a reasonable amount to budget for groceries & eating out anyway? Considering that I eat a large breakfast, usually enjoy coffee or tea because I'm either drowsy or freezing at work, a large lunch, and then a snackish dinner. I'm not a big evening eater, I did train myself on that when I first started working. And it's worked, except if I can't eat within 2 hours of waking up, I'm NOT a happy camper! Other than that, it's a good habit I suppose that way I do all of my heavy eating while I'm the busiest at work. Although I've read that it doesn't matter, but I would think it does...I mean if I eat a bunch and walk all over DC then that's better than eating a bunch and sitting on my tail bone. So there! All you critics. Back to grocery budget...I'm going to try to do this thing with $50...yeah $50! For TWO WEEKS! CHALLENGGGGGE! For those kids out there who grew up watching Cosby like I did.

Okay, so I'm going to go the grocery store today and take $25 cash. That's it. Cash, once it's gone, it's gone. That way I'll be forced to think twice about whatever I pick up. $25 for Tues-Mon groceries. Eggs will definitely be on my list because they're cheap, and fill you up, and they have protein and a lot of other things as well, haha. Hmm, what else...Maybe some sushi (my guilty pleasure). I'm steering clear of red velvet cake, although I absolutely love it. Wait, I can't do sushi...not on a $25 budget. Good grief! I'm taking this offline, I'll let you know how it goes.

Still Returning & Buying :-(

Okay, I have a confession...I found some items at H&M that I bought. There's a grey blazer ($34), I can wear it for work & play and a silver bracelet ($3.90) which I wore to boyfriend's birthday and some silver hoops ($5.90)...I'm seriously thinking I should make a list of things I want/need and ONLY buy those items if I find them while I'm out. I did however find a pair of Citizen jeans that are ankle length, I've been dying for a nice pair...for...you ready....50% off the retail price, so that made them $79 or so. Now I am SERIOUSLY not going near the mall any time soon. I've realized that whenever I go, I find something I just HAVE TO HAVE or A STEAL. So until I can learn some self control, or until I get a majority of these financial goals accomplished, I'm going to attempt to avoid the mall at all costs.

I did return 2 of the dresses that were "no-go" for boyfriend. And I have 3 pairs of shoes, a pair of earrings, and ahhh yes Mr. Seersucker left to return. I can do this...I can do this...I can do this!

First go at the grind

Okay...I did it!!! YAYYY!!! I did my budget through the end of the year. The hardest part will be actually tracking what I spend and sticking with what I've outlined for myself.

So that's one goal that I can cross off of the list, now I just have to track and commit to the budget (or death as I sometimes like to call it.)

So here's another random tidbit...I also realized that I snagged another STEAL while in the mall the other night. A seersucker suit...for a mere $87! The pants are a classic fit with a cuff and the suit jacket is also adorable, well made and has a split in the back of it. Ahhh, fashion finds make me feel soo good. But....after doing some soul searching, perhaps I have to take her back. I was in the mall looking for a dress for boyfriend's birthday party, not a seersucker suit, and even though it was a steal, it's still an impulse buy. Grrrr, this may be the end of my seersucker suit. I had already pictured her (the suit) with a nice crisp white shirt and some bright peep toes. Then separately of course they'd be adorable as well...only I hadn't gotten that far in my planning.

THEN last night...went shopping with my SPBFF and I believe I found the PERFECT dress for boyfriend's birthday. She (the dress) was $135 and hot pink....ssssss! I also found the perfect clutch to go with it and with the dress purchase, it was $10.50!!! Happiness. Then we were off to shoe hunt. I'm going for this kinda Hollyweird look that's very trendy so some people will love and others will hate, but that's cool with me. Anyway...so now that I have my dress (it needs hemming, which I'm going to attempt to do to save $$...YES!!!) I can return the hmmm 3 others. One of them I have to keep since it was on clearance, but it's my favorite and I bought it knowing that it was a keeper regardless. So the other three and the shoes that were to accompany them are headed back to the store. YAYYYY!!! I think adding up my returns will make me happy...I don't have exact amounts but I'm going to guesstimate:

• BCBG Black Patent Peep Toes (these gals were KILLER) $95
• Blue Satin Dress from Dillard's (yes...Dillard's!) $79
• Bebe Two Tone Shirt (it was a dress for me...I'm short, not hoochie) $79
• Bebe Purple Dress $129
• Carlos Santana Leopard Peep Toes $89
• Aldo Black Patent Leather Pumps (they were a STEAL, but I've gotta give em up) $40
• TOTAL (drum roll please...): $511!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH!! How did that add up so fast, seriously. Man...I'm glad I committed to taking this stuff back. Thank you very much Mr. Merchant, but I'd rather have my money for hmm, saving! Oh and just for kicks, let's throw Mr. Seersucker back in there too, that's $598! Yep...I think I just convinced myself that he's going back too. See ya, sucker. If you go on sale further, perhaps I'll come back and consider you at a later date. Then I can store you in my closet for next summer. You were awfully cute...but I'm gonna say no.

And so the grind begins...

Where to start...How about with the fact that it's my boyfriend's birthday this weekend and I've spent...hmmm about $700 on potential outfits. Not to mention the pair of BCBG peep toes that I just HAD to have, they were on sale for $46.20 down from $110...A STEAL! Or the two shirts from Bebe, 65% off of one that was $20.99 or the one on special for $29. Then there's the Bebe trench coat, again 65% off down to $35 from $129!! These were purchases I just couldn't pass up!!!!

Then there is the aforementioned topic of my boyfriend's birthday, for which I was "shopping" in the first place. For that occasion, I picked up four dresses, I'm taking at least two of them back! Let's see one was 65% off, and just too cute to pass up, at $42 a SERIOUS steal! And then the other three...not on sale, but tax free! They were $79, $79, and $129. Then I had to have the proper shoes (black patent leather with a SKY HIGH heel to be exact) so I purchased one pair in Aldo, clearance for $40 and another pair of BCBG that are PERFECT and oh so sexy for....errrr....$95. I know, I know...ridiculous, but they're perfect for my dress (if I wear that one) and I'll get TONS of wear out of them. It's not like they're melon pink or something. These are everyday black shoes.

Then there is also the thought that I have to get boyfriend a birthday gift, so that just ADDS to the never ending costs of this occasion. So...I started thinking, perhaps I should get back on my "Dave Ramsey" kick, believe it or not at one point I was SERIOUSLY committed to DR's principles. And what better way to become more financially responsible than to write a blog about it?! Everyone writes them, and I could certainly benefit from having to write my progress/thoughts even if no one reads them. I can tie emotions to impulse purchases, or not, and seriously have a grip on how much I'm spending on frivolous things (I'm sure more than I'd EVER be willing to admit).

So...here we are! Now, let me say this...I make excellent money, like seriously, one credit card balance, a car loan, and rent that's sky high. All of which are up to date and taken care of, but I still spend money where I shouldn't be...I'd MUCH rather be saving for a house or my wedding (which did I mention...I'm not even engaged, but they're still expensive) or just putting money aside to capitalize on the wonders of compounding interest! So hopefully this blog will help me do just that. Ready? Here we go... or is it Here we go!